The Ashes: England's 'pathetic Poms' savaged by Australian media after two-day pummelling in first Test at Perth

As Travis Head was spanking Australia to victory in a remarkable two-day Ashes Test in Perth, England knew what was coming.

Not only would they be 1-0 down in the five-match series but they would also be destroyed by the home media after throwing away a position of strength with a raft of injudicious shots.

Yep, Bazball was about to get battered.

It was no surprise, then, that the West Australian group, which had called Ben Stokes "cocky", Joe Root "average" and England's approach "careless thrash batting" before a ball had been bowled, hammered the tourists' Optus Stadium horror show.

The Australian, meanwhile, said "Travball murders Bazball".